Fresh starts, new beginnings.

Dirty pasts, old endings.

Forgetful of the things that are no longer there to remind you

Memories, so far pushed behind you.

You were lost but now have hopes to find you.

Fading black, Blind from color.

Scared to try to love another.

Broken pieces, placed back together.

Scared to think of love forever.

A life uplifted, once descending

Fresh starts, new beginnings.

Dirty pasts, old endings.

Imagine if the world built upon vanity and materialistic lusts changed

If emotions consisted of happiness and joy not sorrow and pain.

Imagine if broken hearts and tears that left cuts so deep and promises we make and know we can not keep were unheard of, because love always has a victorious defeat.

Imagine if weapons of mass destruction we learn about in school were fighting with intellect and brilliance instead of bombs that could he used to destroy the lives of mankind.

Imagine if we decided to not solve problems by fighting but by using our mind.

Imagine if instead of trying to fit in we were busy standing out,

Trying to be outstanding.

Imagine if people were in our lives forever and not for seasons

And friends would always be friends’ not just persons that seemed so deceiving.

Imagine if instead of worrying about tomorrow, today we could fully live life.

But hoping for something perfect would be too much like right.

In a world filled with so much wrong, a person can’t help but dream.

And a dream could never come about without imagining.

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An empty pit,

an emotionless ruin,

inside.

A pitiful being,

A cowardly heart,

which beats but isn’t alive.

A painful past,

a reminding present,

that never lets it die.

A girl who’d rather  

hide her hurt than sit around and cry.

A new beginning,

a fresh renewal,

until the words bruise again.

You are worthless, you are pathetic

you are nothing, you are useless

words spewed out by family and friends.

the ones that say they love you,

would rather bet you’ll fall.

So with no one to lean on,

who will help me to stand tall.

A weak and hopeless soul.

A prisoner of words.

A voice that screams out loud.

Awaiting to be heard.

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Thoughts that never sleep

Words I never speak,

I close my eye and wish that if I die my soul he’d always keep.

Confusion, masked distruction

restless nights of interruption.

A mind that dreams awake enough

to live through deprivation.

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You take a knife and stab me 

twisting and turning until there are wounds not capable of healing.

You run through my veins painfully

You destroy me completely until I am no longer capable of feeling.

The deadly venom, the hatred of heart, the evilest villain 

The homicide of emotions, the suicide of self worth, the belittling of confidence.

Where does one find security when surrounded by enemies?

Life worth living or leaving, Fight worth abandoning or withstanding…

As the mind contemplates, one can’t help but wonder.

Those wounds dealt a thousand times to a thousand different people.

The torture of slowly dying on the inside, as if weak and hopeless.

Is it worth the trouble?

sympathy never enough, empathy always too late.

The mouths that vomit those words of murderous hate,

they never stop.

They’d rather see you dead within.

They’d rather see your soul blackend,

your heart shattered.

Yet you’re still breathing…

Yet you have life,

those bruises, those wounds they turn in to power.

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Dark paths on which we met

in sinful pleasures which we kept

So fast we moved 

Before i had what made my worth i did not expect to lose.

Breaking as if glass

Falling as if tripped

A heart, a mind, a person who had fallen for your tricks.

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They say you love the best when shits repetitive. 

Even if it’s all bad and no good that’s why I’m hesitant.

Who wants to love when love is unrequited?

When hearts let those who are undeserving feel invited.

Putting my pride aside and letting my emotions take control.

Like as if you’d never think he’d say goodbye, 

Because you expect repetitious bullshit.

The bad times, the good times,

the breakups, the make ups

you might cry, because you know the shits repetitive.

you might get a little jealous just because you’re competive.

Who ever wants to be the worst someone has ever loved,

when you’ll always be remembered if there is no one above.

you say you hate him when he makes you want to

when deep down inside you’re yelling stop it, I love you.

Because it’s all repetitive,

And unexpectedly when you have a change of heart, deciding he deserves my trust,

he turns around and fucks it up because of lust.

Because he expects you to stick around since shits repetitive,

and you don’t want to move on because you expect things to change,

when you’re mind is telling you things will remain the same.

And why? 

because shits repetitive

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The cage has opened

The dark place I’m used to has been replaced with light.

My dreams, I see are possible.

For once, I couldn’t fly,

A caged bird who had never reached the sky.

I’ve fallen so short, so hard

But now that I’ve spread my wings,

I’m more aware of realistic things.

Optimistically, I can say that anything is possible

and when things are going south, I fly north.

I’ve found the meaning of value and self worth,

I’ve explored and created,

I follow my heart, 

because once I would’ve waited.

My first flight was as beautiful as it was anticipated.

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I sit, as life passes me by. I hope never to move along, I’d rather hold on to this moment in time. I’m scared of what’s in front of me, I’d rather not find out. Because life is cold, your neck it holds until your weak and worn. You try to smile and hold in tears as your heart is torn. Misery loves deaths company so they often come together Whether death is physical or mental destroying your soul forever. With one blink you miss moments that time has no compassion to hold on to. With one knife you’re stabbed in the back by those who suddenly think “forget you”. It takes a strong person to move along with life as time is never on their side. It takes a wise person to understand life will fuck you over even if you hide. Yet I acquire both and I still sit. Hoping that if I’m still enough, life will forget I exist.

I’m reading this amazing essay written by Ralph Waldo Emerson on Self-Reliance, and it begins with this poem that baisically moved me for the moment. I replaced the word Men with Women and His with Her, because I believe that this poem is something for females to live by. It goes like this,

“Woman is her own star; and the soul that can
Render an honest and a perfect woman,
Commands all light, all influence, all fate;
Nothing to her falls early or too late.
Our acts our angels are, or good or ill,
Our fatal shadows that walk by us still.”

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